A Perspective Shift in Mothering

We're on the homestretch in my series of #31DayofRestinginHim. As we're coming to the end I wanted to share with you a post that I wrote last year on Mother's Day. I thought it was worth sharing again here on the new blog. Motherhood and parenthood in general is so tough sometimes but as I learn to rest in the Lord he guides me and gives me wisdom. He even surprises me a little. 

I hope you enjoy this encouragement today. It encouraged me again today as I read it. 

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I've had some really hard weeks these past few months. Days when I for sure thought I was going to lose my mind, days when I felt like giving up on this whole parenting thing.

Pretty sure I wasn't doing a good job.

Pretty sure I wasn't getting through at all to my toddler who seems to test my will more than ever these days.

Days when I've sat and cried for a few minutes while they are tucked in their beds for nap time. A few times that I've snuck into the pantry alone and sat there for a few small moments reminding myself to breath, and come out with a smile on my face.

Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a definitive handbook on how to raise children? A handbook that told you exactly every single scenario that was going to happen and how to handle it? Yup, that would be awesome sometimes.

And just when I'm sure my child hates me, and doesn't like me at all she says something that forever changes my perspective on mothering and parenting.

My husband knows just how much of a hard time I've been having lately and does a great job of checking in on me throughout the day.

Sunday night (mother's day) my husband did the bed time routine with Ava while I was doing my best to calm my screaming 4 month old.

He came down after tucking her in and told me this story;

He was reading Ava a book before bedtime and it was about friendship and best friends. He asked Ava at the end;

"Ava, who's your best friend?"

Ava replied; "Mommy is."

This little two second conversation to me has completely changed my perspective. I realized that how I see myself as a parent my failures, my short comings, etc. Isn't how my child sees me at all. To her I'm her best friend!

Even though I discipline her, and loose my patience sometimes, and cry over the fact that she isn't listening and think about how hard this parenting gig is she doesn't see that at all.

Now matter how many times we mess up or think we fail, or feel like we just can't do another day remind yourself as a mom that your children think you're amazing, you're their hero and they love you so much.

I will repeat this to myself when she's tired and cranky.

When she's being disobedient and needing me to teach her.

When we have hard days.

When I have a hard day.

Sometimes all we need is a little perspective shift and a little encouragement to get us back on track.

As I learn to rest in the Lord this includes resting in Him to give me wisdom as a parent. Patience to take on each day and it's challenged and joys. Resting on the fact that he's given me all the tools and talents I need to be their mom. And when I don't know what to do he's there to help.

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To the Mom who Feels like She's Never Enough.

Being a mother is like being in a whole different kind of culture. And you don't really understand motherhood exactly until you become one yourself. Within that beautiful thing we call motherhood comes joy, happiness, struggle, and lots of other feelings that I could go on and on about. Just like anything in life motherhood has its highs and lows.

One thing I have noticed since I became a mother is that moms (me, you) we all need a little encouragement. We want to know that we're doing a good job, making a difference and that the little things we do for our children and families mean something big to them and matter.

There's so many differences and opinions these days on how to "mother" what you're supposed to do or not do it can really have your head spinning and you may feel like every other mom in the room is about to judge you for your choices and decisions.

I have felt these too.

I have felt the sting of opinions.

The ever flowing guilt that motherhood can bring.

There are days when I don't feel confident at all in my mothering skills, and other days when I feel like I'm super MOM and totally on top of the world!

To the mom who breast feeds, you're enough.

To the mom who formula feeds, you're enough.

To the mom who works outside of her home to help provide for her family, you're enough.

To the mom who stays at home, what you do is enough.

To the mom who just yelled at her kids five minutes ago and feels guilty because it came out all wrong, you're enough.

To the mom who is tired and feels like you will never find rest, you're enough.

Today I'm shouting from the rooftops this, and hoping that as mothers we all take a few moments to realize that you are enough. That you'd take a few moments to encourage that mom you see in the grocery store struggling with her kids.

Today, I'm saying this to myself over and over again.

And on days when I feel like I haven't an ounce left to give I pour myself a big cup of coffee, and ask Jesus for a lot of help along the way.

Though my heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:23

This post is apart of a series #31daysofRestinginHim . Visit this link for more posts on this topic and follow along in this journey. Use the hashtag #31daysofRestinginHim on social media to follow along.

Must Haves for My Mommy Bag!

This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group™ and U by Kotex but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #UbKKmart  http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV

When I was a new mom there were so many items that I forgot to have in my bag, or forgot to replace once it was out. When Ava was just a few months old I went out to a restaurant and she had a major poop accident. I ran to the bathroom to change her and to my surprise I didn't have a backup outfit in the diaper bag. I was mortified as I used a million wipes to clean up the mess and make her presentable to go back to the table. 

It was then that I learned my lesson to replace outfits and remember to restock the bag! Now, I pack my "mommy bag" to the gills and plan for the unexpected. Here's a little peek inside my bag;

First I use and oversized handbag. I don't like carrying a purse and I diaper bag it's just to much for me so I used one bag for it all.  

I carry all the essentials diapers, wipes, a small zipped plastic bag filled with sanitizer, extra pacis, and a bib. Snack cup, and not pictured an extra outfit. 

For Me, I carry my planner, wallet, gum. Pen and a pencil, and my car keys. 

In a smaller vinyl lined zippered pouch (easy to clean) I carry lip gloss, more sanitizer, and hair ties. 

It's not just babies and kids that are accident prone, it's Mommies sometimes too. To make sure I stay "accident" free I always carry a few U by Kotex pads in my purse. Kotex is a brand I trust and have used for years, so it's a natural choice for me. 

Ava and I had a little shopping trip to Kmart for shoes this weekend and picked up mommy bag necessities. Plus, you know I'm a saver so I used my 'Shop Your Way' rewards card to save $3. Not a member? Join here.

I throw it all in the bag, and I'm ready for a complete day of errands, play dates and feeling totally prepared. 

What's in your Mommy bag? How do you stay organized with your kiddos? Give me your best tips in the comments below. 

How I'm Thriving in Motherhood.

Yesterday was Mother's Day, I had a beautiful day celebrating with my family. I hope that you all had a beautiful celebrating the women in your life. 

One of the areas I wanted to Thrive in this year is motherhood. Most of 2013, I felt like I was in a fog when it came to mothering. I was learning how to be a mom of two, juggling a preschooler and an infant was no easy task for me. 

For far to many days I was lazy, we stayed in our pjs way to much, and I didn't feel like I was accomplishing very much in my days with them. I was just barely surviving during a really trying season. 

When I thought about what I wanted the next year to be like God put the word Thrive on my heart. I knew he wanted me to thrive in all areas of my life, but motherhood was very close to my heart because of the season that I'd just come out of. This next year, I wanted to enjoy mothering more. Take more risks, pour myself into other moms, enjoy being a wife and mom again in a way I hadn't in the last year. 

God has been teaching me a lot about his grace during times like this. Teaching me a lot about the importance of rest and self-care that we mamas so easily forget to do ourselves. 

I wanted to share with you some practical things that I am doing to Thrive in motherhood. To take care of myself and my family. I first want to say that I don't do it all. I say no to a lot of things, and over the years have really learned my limits and giftings in this area. I try to prioritize everything around my faith and family. So when I'm asked to do something before committing to anything I really run it through the list of priorities based on those two things. My family always comes first before I say "yes" to something. I look at our schedule of what we already have going on, I take that into consideration a lot. My husband and I talk about the week ahead, we don't like to be busy everyday of the week or weekend so we also take that into consideration.

A few things I'm doing to thrive in motherhood this year;

1. Making time for myself.

I know this is really hard for a lot of people, for me too. But I realized last year that when I didn't make time for myself and take care of myself that I wasn't very happy with myself and lacked confidence in myself as well. A lot of people ask me how I make time for working out, and my answer has just always been you have to just make the time. You have to make yourself important, carve out the time and do it. Maybe your thing is reading and you want to carve out time, do it. I've learned making time for myself has been vital in helping me to thrive in how I then mother. 

2. Keeping Sundays free.

Keeping the Sabbath and committing to rest on Sundays has been key for me. We don't schedule anything on Sunday. We go to church, we come home, often times we're lazy and that's the way we like it. Casual, no plans and a time for rest. There's a lot of play time and family time involved on Sundays and it's been so good for this mama's heart. 

3. Date Nights.

My husband and I haven't always been great at this, however this year we've really tried to make an effort to make date nights a top priority. I've seen how they vastly improve our marriage and how we are together. Even if you can't get away, carve out special time together at night after the kids go to sleep. 

4. Spending time by myself. 

I've learned that sometimes I just need to get away by myself to recharge. Sometimes that looks like a Target run by myself, grabbing a Starbucks, or sometimes that means I steal an hour alone in my bedroom kid free. Either way time alone for myself to recharge has been really helpful and important. 

5. Play Dates. 

When I first started staying at home with both my kiddos I thought that I'd be hopping all around from play date to play date with friends. Well, things didn't quite happen like that and I felt really isolated a lot. I learned that I needed to get my kids out of the house, and let them play with others on a regular basis. I also realized that I needed that interaction as well. 

6. Time with Friends. 

Simply, I've been pursuing community and friendship in my life more than ever. At least once a month I've made it a point to hang out with girlfriends, get out of my house and my yoga pants and do something with friends. It's been amazing for me to see my friendships grow over the past few months simply just by me being willing to step out of my comfort zone and pursue intentional relationships. 

Thrive is so much more than a word to me this year. It's a goal for me. It's a motto for me. It's becoming a silent reminder to me when I make decisions I ask myself; "Will I thrive if I do this, if I see this, if I pursue that.?" 

I'm thankful for what the Lord is teaching me during this season of life. 

What are you learning about yourself during this current season of life that you are in?

When Motherhood is Messy.

I'm not talking about my house is a mess, my kids haven't had a bath in two days, or there's throw up on my shirt. Nope, not that kinda messy. 

I'm talking about long days, ones that are hard. Emotionally taxing and draining. Like I just wanna hide in the bathroom and pretend like I'm in there for it's intended purpose but really I'm just having a mommy time out! Yup, that really happens around these parts. 

Motherhood is messy sometimes, isn't it?!

When I first became a mother everything was so new and exciting. Every single stage. I really surprised my otherwise control freak self how NOT anxious I was as a first time mom. I really loved every new stage, I really didn't sweat the small stuff and took it all in. 

Becoming a mom the second time around and having two little ones, now that my friends through me over the edge. One that took me a long time to get out of that mess and find my groove. There are still days that I feel like I don't know what I am doing. Please tell me I'm not alone in that?!

But, on those days when my pre schooler isn't listening to me or my toddler (who I really think is still a baby) who is breaking everything he can touch I try to remember that God's grace is enough. Those are the days when I know a little time to myself is just what I need to get back on track. 

Some time for prayer.

Time for a long run by myself.

Maybe a trip to Target and just walk the aisles alone. (cheap therapy I say.)

Mothering is just this all day, non stop, someone yelling at you, someone melting down, kinda hands on job. It's also the most rewarding thing I've ever done. It's gives me so much joy and purpose knowing that I have these two amazing humans to look after, teach and raise. 

My son has started doing this thing where he just walks up to you and grabs your leg gives you a hug around your leg. He lingers for a bit before letting go and he's off again running around the house. It's the most tender and sweetest thing, and I love it. 

Or when my daughter shouts out randomly "I love you Mom." Those tiny moments leave the biggest impressions on my heart. They let me know that even though motherhood can be messy sometimes and you just wanna throw in the towel on a Monday and run and hide in my pantry and never come out (seriously) that I really am doing a good job, and they love me. 

As Moms we need that encouragement. We need that gentle tug to let us know everything is going to be ok. My heart for moms has grown so much over the last few years and lately God has been doing something in my heart. A pushing. I want God to raise up a community of strong and confident moms. Ones that know they can't do it alone and that they need Christ everyday to get through it. Moms that know having a community around her lifting her up and her encouraging others is beautiful and beneficial as well. Let's do it together. 

What's your messy motherhood story?

Do you have a community of moms around you that you share life with?